Erin Solstice/Quotes

Erin Solstice Quotes

 Volume 1

• (To Herself) “Ever since I came to this world everything’s been going wrong, huh?”
• (To Herself) “It could be flour. Or—alternatively, it could be cocaine.”
• (To Relc) “…Are you sure you’re not a dragon?”
• (To Herself) “Horses eat grass, but I’ll pass, so I’ll go to the city fast. Or I’ll die of starvation! And once I’m there I’ll eat ten pears and—hey, is that a Goblin?”
• (To Herself) “That lying, pasta-eating snake-ant jerk!”
• (To Krshia) “You know! Riding the cotton pony! It’s that thing ladies have! The waterfalls of hell! The blood baptism! The get-out-of-swim-class card! The proof of womanhood! The part of the month where blood comes out of your—”
• (To Herself) “I hate all bugs. Except for Klbkch. No, actually, I hate him too. At least bugs don’t lie to my face.
• (To Pisces) "And then I’m going to feed you until you explode like one of the flies."
• (To Herself) “Stupid worlds that don’t have ice cream. Stupid Gnolls who act nice and look at me like I’m insane. How does anyone live without ice cream and cookies?”
• (To Pawn) “I don’t even know what it means to be human. All I know is that there’s a big hole in my heart. Because Klbkch and the Worker died. I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. I’m just—sad.”
• (To Pawn) “I just am. That’s how it works. You don’t get to choose to be someone. You just are. Even if you’re not special. Even if you don’t want to be. You just are.”
• (To Pisces) “In case anyone’s wondering, I cannot shoot blood out of my crotch.”
• (To Pisces) “It’s weaker than I am! I punched it this morning and its head came clean off!”
• (To Krshia) "Oh, um, yeah. I’m from another world. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”
• (To Ceria) “Um…Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo? Is that right?”
• (To Calruz) “Um. Do you like mazes?”
• (To Herself) “Winter is coming.”
• (To Toren & Rags) “The king is smart and uses his head. For if he moves, he’ll soon be dead.”
• (To Hersefl) “Great. My undead skeleton sucks at chess.”
• (To Herself) “I am a queen. And this is my inn.”
• (To Skinner) “Come on. Let’s end this.”

Volume 2

• (To Ryoka) "Um, you know how you were talking about survival and all that? Well, just imagine the coffins as one big…diaper.”
• (To Krshia) “I just want to sit by myself and not do anything. Just sit and play chess, okay? I’ll be better once I’m at the inn. Once I’m home.”
• (Thoughts) If she saw a stuffed yellow bear she was going to lose her mind. But Hawk was real in a different way. He wasn’t like Rabbit, more like the rabbit-version of Usain Bolt. Yeah, that was probably closer.
• (To Selys) “But it looks so fluffy and poofy and—”
• (To Selys) “Right, right. But he’s so fluffy.”
• (To Pisces) “Okay. You’ve officially made the most horrible thing in existence. Undead spiders. Good for you. Now take it out of my inn.”
• (To Frost Faeries) “Frost Faeries. Bringers of Winter. I invite you in. I open my doors to the Fey, and offer you this simple banquet.”
• (To Ceria) “Oh, I come from another world. Ryoka does too.”
• (To Toren) “That’s it. Out! Shoo! Don’t come back until later, and stop being…creepy! Understand?”
• (To Brunkr) “My name is Erin Solstice. This is my inn. And. You. Are. Trespassing.”
• (To Herself) “Minotaur! Punch! Punch! Minotaur…[Minotaur Punch]!”
• (To Moore) “…Hodor?”
• (To Jelaqua & Seborn) “Really? I mean…oh. That’s cool? I mean, not cool exactly, but it’s nice? Not that being Human is cool or nice or not being Human is bad, but—um. Sorry. Thanks for helping, and uh, nice to meet you?”
• (To Herself) “I’ve just been plagiarized! Again!”
• (To Halrac) “Hey, look! A keg! I wonder what’s in it?”
• (To Halrac) “Come on, it’s only a drink! Just a few flowers—more than a few! It’s not a drug if it’s magic, and you’re not overdosing or whatever! Come on, wake up!”
• (To Reynold) “But sort of incorrect? Do you always travel around like this? How do the ghost horses work? What if you get attacked? Do you want some of this cheese? There’s lots.”
• (To Magnolia) “I want to protect the people around me. That’s all. I have friends. I don’t want them to die. I want to help them, and some day find a way home. And live in peace. That’s all.”
• (To Magnolia) “If I punch you, would Ressa kill me?”
• (To Herself) “I think I really hate her.”
• (To Klbkch) “Don’t worry! I’m going to bring a frying pan and a knife.”
• (To Lyon) “I didn’t say you were. But we’re all working in this inn together, Lyon. I own it, but I need your help.”
• (To Lyon) “Some monsters are horrible, but this is magic. And we’re on an adventure, right?”
• (To Herself) “Snow Golem brain-snow.”
• (To Jerad) “Oh hey. I’m lost. My skeleton ran off. Can you help me?”

Volume 3

• (To Grev) “You’ve caused enough trouble for your sister. Try and run off and I’ll throw the plate at you next time. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll take this fork and shove it—”
• (To Pisces) “Yeah, shut up, Pisces! You were nicer back when you were in Wistram.”
• (To Pisces) “Because other people were jerks to you. I get it. But you still became sort of a jerk yourself, you know.”
• (To Pisces) “You. Ceria told me about how you used to duel people, and cast magic. You sounded cool.”
• (To Mrsha) “Mrsha! Calm down. It’s good to see you! Please get off. Please?”
• (To Lyon) “I’m back! Hey Lyon, did you miss me?”
• (To Zel) “Whoa. You’re tall. Um. Hi. I’m Erin Solstice. I sort of own this inn, but I’ve been gone…wait, did you say Shivertail? Are you related to Selys?”
• (To Klbkch) “Isn’t it? Us Humans are so intriguing. Except that I think Antinium are way more interesting.”
• (To Klbkch) “Something. Anything. Give your time to someone else to talk, give a bit of trust, or a helping hand. Give them a second, and maybe you’ll get something back.”
• (To Klbkch) “Then you don’t. Maybe you’ll never get anything no matter how much you give. Maybe you’ll never be friends. That’s how it works. But to make a friend, you have to try. Just try.”
• (To Termin) “Okay, don’t pet the beaver. Well, can’t we get rid of it?”
• (To Ceria) “Can you get rid of it? You can talk to animals, right? Can you get it off the road so Termin can keep going?”
• (To Krshia) “But I need to say it. I hired Lyonette, and I know you were upset. It must be so hard—if I can do anything, I will. That’s what friends are for.”
• (To Ryoka) Christmas! It’s Christmas soon! You must come back with presents! We will have party! Can you take carriage back? Tell Reynold he is invited too!
• (To Ryoka) Come, please! Party is in two days! Come for Christmas! Tell Magnolia she is Scrooge! Ressa is cool.
• (To Herself) “One bee, two bee, three bees…this one’s twitching. Ew. Four bees, five bees, ooh, big bee! Seven bees…”
• (To Brunkr) “Have faith in me. I want to help. And I know what I’m doing.”
• (To Krshia) “That’s just who I am. A silly believer.”
• (To Herself) “It looks like it’s going to be an interesting year.”

Volume 4

• (To Bird) “Bird! Guard! Bird House! I pay, you shoot! Birds! Bird!”
• (To Gold-rank Adventurers) “Will do! Oh, by the way, did Lyonette tell you all about what I wanted to talk to you earlier about but never got the chance to talk about?”
• (To Everyone) “Make way! Cake! Make way for the cake! Oh, hey Mister Zel and you. Do I know you? And hi Klbkch! You and your friend will want to eat this. Wait, do I know you?”
• (To Regrika) “It was your smile. You smiled like Mrsha does when she’s been naughty. Kids are bad liars. And so are you.”
• (To Zevara) “Did you think that was a joke? That I wasn’t serious? I am. Unless the Goblin is attacking me or other people, or stealing or—or being a jerk, I won’t let you harm them.”
• (To Zel) “Why did you do it? Stand up for me? And why were you sure I’d give them a place to stay?”
• (To the Halfseekers & Drassi) “I am. I believe in people. I believe that Goblins are more than monsters. Because they act like people. They might act like monsters, but—don’t people say that about Selphids? To a Human like me, a Drake might be a monster. Or a Gnoll. But they have feelings. And so do the Goblins. They might not speak, but they cry. And I think that if you can cry, you’re a person.”
• (To Purple Smile) “Hey, it’s you! Scary-purple-smile-guy! How’s it been? You’re here for food, right? Where’s Pawn? Not with you this time? Well, come on in and—”
• (To Lyon) “You sure? Right, just don’t serve her anything strong, okay? Feed her, don’t let her drink. A happy Selphid’s a fat Selphid. Or something.”
• (To Apista) “Sting me and Lyonette will have to sweep you up, Apista. Understand?”
• (To Everyone) “Good. Now, the first person who moves I will personally break their arm. No one stands, draws a sword, or does anything until I say they can. Got it? Good.”
• (To Redfang Goblins) “Thank you. And I want you to know that I had a friend, once. Her name was Rags and she was a Goblin. She and I didn’t always understand each other, but I thought of her as a friend, as a person. I think you’re people too.”
• (To Mrsha) “It’s not wrong. Anyone would hate them for that. Hating Goblins isn’t wrong. But hating all Goblins, hating these Goblins—that’s not right, either.”
• (To Mrsha) “Listen, Mrsha. I am going to tell you something important. Something you have to learn. And it’s this: people are not the same. Understand?”
• (To Mrsha) “No, no they aren’t. But some people think that way. In fact, most of us do it. We don’t mean to, but we do. And that means we judge everyone by the actions of a few. Like Goblins. They are not all the same.”
• (To Ilvriss) “So what do you want? Hey, didn’t I throw a pan at your head once?”
• (To Ilvriss & Mrsha) “Go on. Or Mrsha will eat it. Mrsha, no. You’re getting your own. See? Ishkr has it right there. Be a good girl and sit down. Not on the table.”
• (To Ilvriss) “No Firebreath Whiskey for you, Mister. You came here drunk and you had an entire mug of the stuff earlier. I’m cutting you off.”
• (To Ilvriss) “Too bad. You can have this drink instead if you want. It’s a specialty of the inn. Faerie Flower ale. Here, try it. It makes you feel better. Or worse.”

Volume 5

• (To herself) “Whoa. Mayonnaise diplomacy. I’ve seen everything.”
• (To Hawk) “Aw, what the heck. I like new places. You said this place is called Pallass? I always wanted to see a Walled City. Let’s go exploring!”
• (To Hawk & Ilvriss) “I’m just saying, it sounds like a joke! A Human, a Rabbit-dude and a Lord of the Wall walk into a bar. Or through a magical portal. There’s a joke there somewhere!”
• (To Lyon) You see Lyonette, there’s one good way to make angry people less angry at you and that’s to pretend to be as stupid as they think you are. Like a dumb Human tourist.”
• (To Zevara & Venim) “I get it. With great door teleportation must come great responsibility, huh?”
• (To Lyon) “It’ll totally work! It has to work! It’s already working! It’s the most amazing idea I’ve come up with yet! Lyonette, this is going to blow people’s minds!”
• (To herself) “I should probably get my own room. Yup, yup. Why do I sleep down here anyways? Because the kitchen floor is soft? Well, it is, actually. But I need a dressing room, at least. The actors could use one and so could I.”
• (ToJelaqua ) “Nope. He’s good at most things and he likes to eat. He’s a hard worker and the other Goblins like him because he doesn’t get on their nerves. He’s a Hufflepuff, poor guy.”
• (To Falene) “Oh! Right. It probably is. I don’t use the names of wines. I just call them by how they look. I’ve got red, off red, sort of red, greenish yellow, maroon…hey, why do we call all those wines white if they look green? What about green wine? What’s wrong with calling it that?”
• (To Lyon & Mrsha) “Well, looks like it’s time to go. That parade sure was fun, wasn’t it? Ending sort of sucked, though. Hey, is that really the army? They look like jerks.”
• (To one of Ilvriss's escorts) “Sorry, but I’m in a hurry. Besides, Ilvriss isn’t my Lord of the Wall or whatever. He’s cool. I’m cool. We’re on a level.”
• (To Redfang Goblins) “That’s what you should be. That’s what I tried to get Selys to do. You should be adventurers. Goblin adventurers.”
• (To Lyon) “I know, but it’s a good job! I don’t know what I would have done without you. Never go on vacation again, okay? Kidding! But not really.”
• (To Pawn) “Pawn, I love you like the son I don’t plan on having, but you can’t just sit here. People need you. All the Soldiers and Workers in your unit have stopped eating.”
• (To Pawn) “There’s that handsome face. Mandibles. Whatever. Good job, Pawn.”
• (To Earlia) “Hello there! The Wandering Inn provides you with a Hobgoblin escort to and from the dungeon plus emergency rescue! And we have a boat. Three, actually. Want a lift?”
• (To Lyon) “It helps! Okay! Here goes! Mad, mad—table flip! Getting really angry! I’m awakening my warrior instincts! You can’t stop me! This is not my final form! Graaah!”
• (To Pallass's Guards) “Hey! I know there are Drakes watching this door! Get out here! Liscor’s under attack! Again!”
• (To Headscratcher) “Pawn to F4. Bird’s Opening. That’s what it’s called. Bird uses this opening all of the time. Because of the name.”
• (To Zevara) “There’s a big, bad army of Goblins up north. Got it. What does that have to do with the Goblins here? Goblins are not alike.”
• (To Halrac) “Come with me. So Bird can apologize. And before that, so you and I can explain what he did wrong.”
• (To Bird) “Very bad, Bird. As bad as bad can be. I brought Halrac here so you can apologize. He might not forgive you. That’s how bad it was.”
• (To Cave Goblins) “Try to stab me and I’ll hit you. Don’t stab me and I’ll feed you. Okay? Give me ten—five minutes.”
• (To Cave Goblins) “Food. Is good. Food makes people feel better. I can’t save Mrsha or Ceria. I can’t fight Raskghar. But I bet I can feed you. And I just bet you’ll stay for that. What do you say?”
• (To Embria) “You don’t have to follow my orders. I just thought you’d want to be part of my plan. I don’t need you. I could use your help, but you need me more than I need you. So…see you maybe?”
• (To Ilvriss) “You think I can’t help? I can’t fight, but I can think! And my plan needs you, Ilvriss! It needs you, and Klbkch, and Zevara—it needs everyone! Only I can pull it off. Because I’m me!”
• (To Ilvriss) “I am Erin Solstice! I’m the craziest Human you know! And I have a plan! I can save the Gnolls! I can save Ceria! I can save Mrsha! Look me in the eye and tell me I can’t!”
• (To herself) “And Hufflepuff takes the lead.”
• (To Guardsmen) “Am I going to be on a watch list? Or will this be on my permanent record? Do you have records? Wait—am I already on your watch list? Hey, do I have a file and if I do, can I see it?”
• (To Headscratcher) “It’s not your fault what other people do, Headscratcher. It’s not your fault what they do. Only what you do.”
• (To Redfang Warriors) “It’s all happening. And I want it not to. I want time to stop. I want to be here—even here, forever. I don’t want to know what happens next. Why can’t things stay the same? Forever?”
• (To Redfang Warriors) “At least tonight…at least one more day.”
• (To Olesm) “It’s funny. I was an honest [Innkeeper] before all of this. I had to go to prison to become a [Criminal]. [Thug]. Whatever. This is a [Thug]’s life, y’know?”
• (To Zevara) “I can’t deal with them. And I can’t get them to go. So…take me back to jail. I hear we’re getting beef stew for dinner.”
• (To Everyone) “Alright Gangnam style! Follow me, everyone!”

Volume 6

• (To Mrsha, Lyon and Numbtongue) “You’re more than guests. More than friends. You’re family.”
• (To Mrsha, Lyon and Numbtongue) “But you’ll always be welcome here. Forever. No matter what happens. Wherever I go, whomever I become—I’ll always welcome you. That’s what family means. More than friends. This is your home. If you want it to be.”
• (To Mrsha, Lyon and Numbtongue) “I’m Erin Solstice. I come from another world. We call it Earth. I have a home there. Parents. I had another life there until I came here. By accident. Maybe by a spell. My world is nothing like this one. It’s beautiful and stupid and different. It’s home. And I want to go back one day.”
• (To Venim) “This isn’t over. I’ll be back. And if you ever hurt Numbtongue—that’s the name of the ‘monster’ by the way—I will kick your scaly butt. Have a nice day.”
• (To the [Mages]) “You could use some abs. You too, Ceria. Typhenous is old so he’s fine, and Moore’s cool since he can lift cows, but the rest of you need to work out.”
• (To herself) “Stupid Ilvriss. I’m not marrying you. You can have it back when we see each other again.”
• (To her knife) “Too many to count! And you were always there with me, buddy. Well, I’m afraid to say that you’ve lost your edge. Sad. What’ll I do?”
• (To herself) “Stupid uptight Drake guards. It’s my door! Security risk, am I? Your face is a security risk! That’s what I should have said. Boom! Nice one, Erin. High-five, self-five!”
• (To Bealt) “Erin Solstice! [Innkeeper] and uh, City Human!”

• (To the Gold-rank Adventurers) “You—you’re all jerks. Because you’re too nice! You came in here, made friends with me, saved my life. How dare you? How dare you do all that and just go without me being able to say how much I’ll miss you? Why can’t you stay?”
• (To Relc & Embria) “Maybe? You’re been talking about this campaign or that mud pit you had to fight in for the last two hours. I’m not saying I’d rather listen to Pisces talk, but I might.”
• (To Klbkch) “Klbkch! You’re a bad dad!”
• (To herself) “Grr. Wow. These hard boiled goose eggs are good. Why have I eaten only chicken eggs all my life? Grr.”
• (To herself) “Hold on. Selys. Heartflame Breastplate. Stabbing people with the kitchen knife…cake. Yeah. I can work with this.”
• (To Lyon) “Ooh! That’s like chocolate chip ice cream! Hey Lyonette, how’d you make—oh. Ew. Those ain’t raisins.”
• (To Numbtongue & Yellow Splatters) “I have to go. Sorry. I’m cramping your style! Oh no…I’m a mom. Wait, does that mean Lyonette’s the dad? Or the bossy older sister? Am I the dad?”
• (To Celum’s [Mayor] & Relc) “Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Watch me! Your City Watch let these guys threaten Octavia, steal money—hey Relc, if you find all that gang and this Quelm guy, I’ll give you free food for a week!”
• (To Celum’s [Mayor]) “I am the consequences!”
• (To Venim) “I’m not doing whatever you want. It’s ‘take-Erin-down-a-peg day’ today. I know what’s up. I’m just gonna play chess here. Don’t bother me. I’m sulking.”
• (To her Inn) “Hey. Inn. On my next level up, I want you to do something to protect them, alright? Mrsha. Goblins. Me too, I guess. Give me the power to save them from anything bad. Can you do that?”
• (To her Inn) “Level 40, then. But it had better be good. Time to grind some exp!”
• (To the audience) “We did it. Krshia won! And so did Raekea and Elirr! Mr. Cat-Gnoll Guy is on the Council!”
• (To Selys) “Hey good looking! Mind if I buy you a drink?”
• (To Selys) “It wasn’t fair. And you can be mad. But tonight, Selys? Be happy. Because there wasn’t a Gnoll on Liscor’s Council yesterday. Tomorrow, there will be.”
• (To Lyon) “Well, I’m off! I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow! Send help if you hear explosions or something.”
• (To Pisces) “Pisces! Are you playing with your bone again?”
• (To Pisces) “Alright, you’ve got me, you sly dog. Lay it on me. Where’s Tiqr and why do I care? It’s got to do with the Dental King, right? The King of Destruction?”
• (To Palt) “Oh, be shush, you. I’m not gonna hurt you. But if you cast a spell on me, I’ll stab you.”
• (To the workers) “Those jerks! Hey! Hey! Let go of me! I’m gonna kick him in the nuts! I’m gonna boil nuts and throw it on his face! I said let go—”
• (Thoughts to herself) But what are you going to do? If Montressa goes nuts? Palt just said they can blow up your inn, even from the outside. And if they fight, your friends have to fight too. If any get hurt when you could stop it, it’s on you, right?
• (Thoughts to herself) But you said the same thing about alcohol and it was pretty nice. And you serve that. And your faerie flower drink.

Volume 7

• (To herself) “It’s boring being on break. And I suppose it’s time to go back. And do it all better this time. Differently.”
• (Thoughts) She’d have to find Pelt’s knife again. She kept nearly losing it.
• (To Klbkch) “I know that! But hitting Bird is not the answer! Stop it or so help me, Klbkch, I will make you regret it!”
• (To Bird) “Listen to me, Bird. I know you’re not happy. And young. And I know you like birds and you’re…Bird.”
• (To Grimalkin) “Look, I just want a rune. I’ll pay you. No favors! Who do I have to pay for a rune? Palt? Palt can do it! No, I’m not answering all your questions. Where am I from? Noneya! Noneya business! Boom!”